While in High School there was a moto that went something like Expect the best, prepare for the worst. But my life has always been more like expect the worst, prepare for the worst. Certainly multiple traumas, car accidents, abandonment and abuse reiterated that for me- this was the way it was going to be. However, thinking like that keeps me on edge, irritated, combative and in fight or flight mode. I am hoping that in 2016 I can move closer to expecting the best.
I remember last year when I was trying to buy my first house. I'd been in the process of buying a house at least 5 times and gotten all the way to closing once and had the deal fall through. I kept bracing myself for it not to work out so much that I was unable to celebrate when the deal went through! I am always bracing for the next big hurt or dissapointment.
But what would happen if I began to expect that every interaction brought with it some good? That every individual meant me good instead of harm. It may not keep bad things from happening- that is a part of life- but it may get me out of perpetual frustration and irritation. Maybe it's just a mistake and not oart of a bigger plan to take me down. Maybe she got pulled away from her phone and her lack of response to my text does not mean she doesn't want to speak to me anymore. Maybe this disagreement doesn't have to signal the end of a friendship. Maybe I can be hurt and healing and loving and forgiving and sometimes uncomfortable but always present. I will work this week on assuming the best and taking people's word at face value. I will show up and be present in all interactions. I will expect the best, even if I am conditioned to prepare for the worst!