journaling

175 vs. 230/1995 vs. 2009/Then and Now

Think of the time when you were at a weight you were happy with then answer the following questions: (Mine was 1995 before I got pregnant with Kalia when I was at Vassar living in Main Building with Dayhna Carroll)

What foods did you eat then that you no longer eat?

Salads daily

Vegetables daily

No meat

Drink only water

What foods did you eat in abundance?

None- everything was in moderation. If I wanted something like cookies or cake- I’d take a piece, but my palate had changed so much that sweets tasted way too sweet. I couldn’t stomach pop or cake and cookies so it was easy to pass them up. Bad foods made me feel sick immediately after eating them so I didn’t even have a craving anymore.

Three physical activities

Running across campus for no reason (usually just to meet Dayhna after she got out of class)

Jane Fonda Aerobic tape- this thing is so 80s but foreal it’s a lot like dancing so I would just put it on when I was bored after class in the middle of the day and work up a sweat.

Dancing in the mug till all hours of the night! Nuff said…

Three hobbies you enjoy

Socializing with my friends

Dancing

Rapping/Writing rhymes

People places ore things that stress you out

Men

Classroom

Advisors

Where do you get most of your support

Dayhna- she would literally walk up to me and take the cheetos out of my hand, she would pour the soda down the drain. She told me I could do it- that there was a smaller person inside my body waiting to get out. She didn’t let my anger, temper tantrums or pouting keep her from encouraging me to do what was ultimately right for my body. (sans ganja smoke- that was ok, LOL)

How do you regard your physical appearance?

The weird thing about losing so much weight in such a short period of time was that I didn’t recognize myself. I would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and always be like “who’s that?” I felt alienated from myself in a weird way.

How important is your health?

Well, I was doing other things at the time that were not healthy, so I wasn’t totally caring for my body. And I think my weight loss was more motivated by wanting to be a big time rapper and feeling like I needed to look a certain way. I wasn’t yet thinking about health because my mother’s health problems hadn’t surfaced. All the overweight people in my family up until this time were healthy!

Level of motivation

I had no (real) man, no kids, just school and friends, so there was much more time on my hands then there is now. Also I didn’t have to worry about paying bills (the good old days). But I also had to eat in the retreat or ACDC so my healthy food options were limited.

NOW

What foods did you eat then that you no longer eat?

Meat

Snacks

Pop

Juice

What foods did you eat in abundance?

I eat a lot of carbs in abundance. Like the pack of cinnamon graham crackers I ate the whole pack of…Or the entire bag of microwave popcorn…Or too many pretzels…A few weeks ago when my eating was really out of control I was eating candy bars from the snack machine and pop too a lot. I also started eating ice cream- I don’t even really like ice cream, but the chocolate chip cookie dough with the sugar cone from Clown Cone was the bomb!

Three physical activities

None

Three hobbies you enjoy

Socializing with my friends

Writing

Facebooking

People places ore things that stress you out

Men

Kids who don’t clean up after themselves

Flaky people

Where do you get most of your support

My kids- they are really sensitive to my struggles and are working on themselves in their own ways. I see their responses to my eating ups and downs and it makes me more aware of the long term impact of my bad eating choices.

Facebook: Yolanda Sabio, Toya Lilliard, Nakea Hughes, Andrea Roberts, Kyla Kupferstein Torres, Yolanda Ramos-shot out to my used to be big girls now small(er) girls!

How do you regard your physical appearance?

230 is like my “normal” weight. I feel comfortable at this weight though not the most attractive. I feel a man would have to know me first to be attracted to me physically but that’s safer for me then a man being attracted to my body first because that makes me feel vulnerable.

How important is your health?

The main reason I am losing weight. I don’t do needles so I can’t get diabetes. The only way to prevent diabetes is through diet and exercise- nuff said.

Level of motivation

High, even though I am still under serious time constraints. I may have to (aaaarrrg) start waking up at like 6:30 am just to get my work out in. If I can wind down and get to sleep by 11pm I should be able to do that. But I’m a night owl! So- that’s my hang up right now on exercise. I could also walk around the park while the kids are at football/cheerleading practice… no excuses it’s got to get done.