The Announcement

This is so strange that although I'm a writer and I've considered myself a writer since elementary school, I've totally been avoiding blogging. It seems fadish and there is such a thing as TMI (too much information). But I have succumbed to the blog-o-rama. In part it's because I've been having a hard time dealing with my situation. I fall back into denial every other day. So I figured what better way to deal with my situation than to put it on Front Street. So I've invited you all to take a peek into my world.

I've been divorced since November 11, 2005. It's been liberating. I have found pieces of myself that have been dead and buried for years. I also discovered talents and gifts that enabled me to get through this process. I was a lot stronger than I thought I was. I think my ex and I held things together as long as we could but under the circumstances we are better people apart than together. I still love him as a person and hope that one day we can be friends again. For right now we have minimal contact and he's not involved in our children's lives but that's another blog.

Where I thought I was over dealing with lust and fornication I quickly found out after separating that it's very difficult to "hang out" and "date" without taking things to a physical level. I ran into an ex-boyfriend with whom I had unfinished business. Our relationship was so much of what I was missing in my marriage. We had engaging conversations, eye contact, long hours spent one-on-one and we genuinely were connected to each other. Soon we were engaged in all aspects of one anothers lives. We got physical, and I got pregnant. Not only did I get pregnant, I conceived twins.

I decided to separate from this individual in order to reevaluate my walk with Christ and my personal goals and aspirations. I'm not ready to combine my life with another man at this point in any other way than co-parenting. I love the feeling of being loved and adored but I'm not willing to sacrifice the things I sacrificed in the past to be married. And I only want to be married one more time.

I'm 18 weeks pregnant with babies number four and five and I'm scared, excited, and blessed. I know just like Kalia, Kaissa and Jamir, these babies are born with a purpose and a plan larger than what I can see right now. Jamir has named the twins Jeremiah and Kaya- they are due on October 24, 2006. Pray for me and with me and join me in this awesome journey. I love you all!